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History Jizz
#76
(01-17-2016, 04:52 PM)HardCoreTurtle Wrote:
(01-17-2016, 04:40 PM)CombatWombat Wrote:
(01-17-2016, 04:22 PM)HardCoreTurtle Wrote:
(01-16-2016, 04:40 PM)CivilianChick Wrote:
(01-16-2016, 12:16 PM)Notorious P.O.G. Wrote: Im pretty sure we know how hitler died...

By me going back in time and popping a bullet into his head before he ever came to power.

That reminds me of this short story:
http://www.abyssapexzine.com/wikihistory/

You're Jewish we get it. 

Plenty of reasons to kill the guy that don't need someone to be Jewish. I'd want to blow his head off, and I'm not.

So you'd alter history without having a single care about the possible consequences? K goy. 

Dude was a terrible artist. That's death right there.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a lot of bitching.<br /><br />- The Tao of Wombat
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#77
I'd group my time-travel desires by motivation...

For Relaxation and enjoyment:
Roaring twenties -- Weimar republic (Berlin) before nazis came and destroyed it. So much sex and drugs even before rock and roll. Fucking as in roman orgies but with electric light, the first radio stations going on the air and some basic medical treatment -- "desinfection" was the hip new shit. And then re-visit the same epoch in Paris. And then in New York.
Or Germany in the days of reunion 1989/90. Greatest time of my life. I don't think I'll ever again witness such a vibe.

Scientific and for documentary purposes:
Travel through ages, learn languages and knowledge, and be able to document and record it with today's equipment. Also go to post WWII-Britain in attempt to help Alan Turing survive a bit longer.

Military:
Planning rooms of the cold war, on both sides. Visiting the cryptoanalysts breaking the Enigma.

Hey, ability to travel time seemingly somehow implies eternal life... how convenient.
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#78
(01-17-2016, 11:16 PM)leonk Wrote: Scientific and for documentary purposes:
Travel through ages, learn languages and knowledge, and be able to document and record it with today's equipment. Also go to post WWII-Britain in attempt to help Alan Turing survive a bit longer.

Military:
Planning rooms of the cold war, on both sides. Visiting the cryptoanalysts breaking the Enigma.

Hey, ability to travel time seemingly somehow implies eternal life... how convenient.

Oooh. Good call on Alan Turning.

You could visit woman's island while it was still inhabited: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juana_Maria

She's quite a historical enigma. Native American, sole person left living on an island, nobody could comprehend her language. Some of its been written down phonetically but nobody knows what it means. She was the inspiration for the novel The Island of the Blue Dolphins, which I read as a kid.

I've always wondered what her story was. Its a shame she didn't live long enough to learn English to tell it.

Do you have any particular areas you'd want to visit and fill in historical gaps with?
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#79
Ive been following her story, they found a bunch of artifacts in 2013 but the pechanga indians claimed rights to the land (which they never lived on). Pissed me off when i heard about it.



http://www.latimes.com/local/great-reads/la-me-c1-cave-artifacts-20150305-story.html
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#80
(01-18-2016, 08:20 AM)CivilianChick Wrote: Do you have any particular areas you'd want to visit and fill in historical gaps with?

Dunno, there are so many gaps in history.
Today, we're preserving literally every wank with its GPS coordinates -- but going back just some fifty years, there are lots of white spots on history records everywhere. There are so many untold stories for every point on earth, be it middle of Manhattan, be it mid of nowhere in Sibiria.

Thinking big things: I support rescuing the Aztec version of the Library of Alexandria which was lost to Christian crusade. Would give support to Aztec warriors whacking crusaders in order to preserve and spread it.
If it's the "don't touch anything" time-travel, I'd just document as much of it as possible.

Oh and I'd want to find out how they managed to create some of their paintings in caves where there are no obvious ways to climb to the painting.
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#81
(01-16-2016, 04:40 PM)CivilianChick Wrote:
(01-16-2016, 12:16 PM)Notorious P.O.G. Wrote: Im pretty sure we know how hitler died...

By me going back in time and popping a bullet into his head before he ever came to power.

That reminds me of this short story:
http://www.abyssapexzine.com/wikihistory/

You wouldn't have to if Germany won WWI. He would have just been another obscure artist in Bohemian circles. 
OH YOU!

[Image: qVbUArb.gif?noredirect]


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#82
(01-17-2016, 04:52 PM)HardCoreTurtle Wrote: So you'd alter history without having a single care about the possible consequences? K goy. 

This. Hitler was a bad dude m'kay, I get it.

WW2 was the source of a lot of modern technological innovation and breakthrough. I would not stop the war or Hitler, but I would clear up some of the mysteries surrounding his actions, specifically the occult research and the 'Bell' mountain complex.

I'd also find the gold room, the real one, or at least what happened to it.
Just a dumb grunt.
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#83
I think I would kidnap Hitler at the beginning of his rise to power and how like 30 Jews to gang rape him for a month, then plop him back into the time line.
[Image: dpo8auk.gif]

(05-06-2016, 02:33 PM)NSFgirl Wrote: You're a terrible person, wongtastic.
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#84
(01-19-2016, 05:10 AM)Wongtastic Wrote: I think I would kidnap Hitler at the beginning of his rise to power and how like 30 Jews to gang rape him for a month, then plop him back into the time line.

On fucking Nazis:

Germany after WWII. Commander of Auschwitz concentration camp Rudolf Hoess was living a seemingly peaceful life under the alias name "Hans Lang" as a farm laborer in a small village in northern Schleswig-Holstein.
Some hints and some evidence started to pile up and the (British) war crime investigation center got involved and their Captain Hanns Alexander -- a jew who emigrated to GB -- was to arrest him with a squat (of mostly jewish soldiers). Tough Hoess had forged papers and people at his village couldn't (or didn't want to) imagine (or admit) that this peaceful fellow could be such a monster, he was eventually given away by his marriage ring, which had an engraving. It said "Rudolf" and "Hedwig". Hedwig was Hoess' wife who gave her husband's current address after she was threatened with sending their children to a camp in sibiria. Seemingly she had an idea which kind of "camp" this would be...

This is the photo taken of Hoess after he was arrested.

[Image: Rudolf-Hoess.jpg]

In fact, the doctor the squad had brought to search him for any suicide pills had to stop the men at some point -- if they wanted to bring Hoess to justice alive. I think, "gang rape" would be friendly description for what happened.

I truly envy those men for their self restraint not to fuck that piece of human waste to death. In fact, they took him to trial where he then was sentenced to death by hanging.
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#85
(01-19-2016, 05:10 AM)Wongtastic Wrote: I think I would kidnap Hitler at the beginning of his rise to power and how like 30 Jews to gang rape him for a month, then plop him back into the time line.

That reminds me of the Louis C.K. joke about how if he went back in time, he wouldn't kill Hitler, he'd just rape Hitler and make him too afraid to leave his house, let alone invade Poland.
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#86
Of course the time travel thread turns into a bunch of jews talking about killing hitler and the nazis.


I'd try to out fuck ghengis khan so 10% of the world is related to me instead of him.
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#87
If I could go back in time and had some power over Hitler I would just tell him to respect the Slavs a little more. That's about it. Maybe ask him to scale back the whole Jew thing so it isn't the only thing we remember him for.

Also would ask for a portrait of myself - by him - and I would come back to 2016 with my most prized family heirloom.


Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, and poop like no one is in the next stall.


Handicapable: Jesus, if you're an O you get awards like they're motrin at a Corpsman parade.
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 [Image: WE5D25k.gif]
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#88
(01-19-2016, 08:38 AM)Notorious P.O.G. Wrote: Of course the time travel thread turns into a bunch of jews talking about killing hitler and the nazis.


I'd try to out fuck ghengis khan so 10% of the world is related to me instead of him.

One Jew, which is totally fair. One German, which is totally fair. One guy who just hates shitty art.


Quote: Also would ask for a portrait of myself - by him - and I would come back to 2016 with my most prized family heirloom.

Cut and paste your head into this.


[Image: ahmaria.jpg]
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a lot of bitching.<br /><br />- The Tao of Wombat
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#89
(01-19-2016, 02:21 PM)CombatWombat Wrote: Cut and paste your head into this.


[Image: ahmaria.jpg]

It's very colorful.













That's usually what I tell my daughter.
[Image: dpo8auk.gif]

(05-06-2016, 02:33 PM)NSFgirl Wrote: You're a terrible person, wongtastic.
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#90
I'd like to talk to some of the first slaves that were brought over and get some more first hand accounts of what being sold into slavery was like. We've got a few accounts, but not much.
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#91
Why not ask the rest of Africa and the Middle East, who had already been doing it since the dawn of time?
CPD: after you beat up someone you gotta take something from them.  CPD: it can be food, money, their anal virginity, whatever, but you gotta take something from him

#FREEHCT


[Image: octoCookie_zps30dh4gn8.jpg]
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#92
(01-19-2016, 06:00 PM)cookiecj Wrote: Why not ask the rest of Africa and the Middle East, who had already been doing it since the dawn of time?

Slavery here in the U.S. has been largely unmatched in terms of brutality and how it dehumanized the slaves themselves. An African slave in America was born into it and worked in the field until he died. The cycle repeats for generation after generation. 
Victim of the negative karma bugger
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#93
Yeah the slaves in other cultures had a great time
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#94
frankie, you're a fucking idiot.
CPD: after you beat up someone you gotta take something from them.  CPD: it can be food, money, their anal virginity, whatever, but you gotta take something from him

#FREEHCT


[Image: octoCookie_zps30dh4gn8.jpg]
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#95
Who said they had a great time? That's a huge fucking leap (that you made). In most other cultures, slaves could work their way into indentured servitude and eventually freedom. Slavery in the U.S., beginning in the 18th century relegated generation after generation of slave to being reduced to property with no chance of ever winning their freedom.

If you think slavery among African tribes was similar to slavery in the U.S., then you're pretty fucking stupid.
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#96
(01-17-2016, 04:54 PM)CombatWombat Wrote:
(01-17-2016, 04:52 PM)HardCoreTurtle Wrote:
(01-17-2016, 04:40 PM)CombatWombat Wrote:
(01-17-2016, 04:22 PM)HardCoreTurtle Wrote:
(01-16-2016, 04:40 PM)CivilianChick Wrote: By me going back in time and popping a bullet into his head before he ever came to power.

That reminds me of this short story:
http://www.abyssapexzine.com/wikihistory/

You're Jewish we get it. 

Plenty of reasons to kill the guy that don't need someone to be Jewish. I'd want to blow his head off, and I'm not.

So you'd alter history without having a single care about the possible consequences? K goy. 

Dude was a terrible artist. That's death right there.

So is pretty much every single contemporary artist these days and they're terrible arting all the way to the bank. Jussayin' m8... 
Yowie on tater tot burritos: CombatWombat Ian old mate, that's an abomination and I want it 20 Jan 20:39



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#97
This history porn lifehack is long, so bear with me:

So going back in time the first thing I'd do is stop by Austria, where Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France, will be fighting in a battle. I'd immediately take him out of the battle and bring him back to modern day USA. Next up, I'd probably go to the Old West, pick up one of those outlaw badasses, someone like Billy the Kid would do nicely in this instance. After that I'd probably hit up ancient Greece and pick up a philosopher, probably Socrates.

And you know me, I like dank memes, life hacks, and history porn, so I'd definitely go grab me two English princesses from the late middle ages era. I'd probably fast forward a bit after this and snag up Sigmund Freud, as I mean, come on... HELLO, he's the founder of Psychology or something. It's 2015, I mean COME ON. I'm not done there, let's spice this up a bit. I'm going to get yet another Teutonic wizard into my stable, that's right Ludwig von Beethoven is gonna come rock out for me. Then it's back to the late middle ages to pick up Jeanne d'Arc, she's probably pretty hot in a butchy tom boy kind of way right?

Of course what rightful total history nerd (^_~) wouldn't come pick up Ghengis Khan too? I mean hello! HAHA! Gotta have Abraham Lincoln too, dude was a great speaker, he could really help me out. Sorry for the long ass post guys, I just am really passionate about history porn, and wanted to get that all out there. Smile
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#98
(01-19-2016, 06:50 PM)frankieb Wrote: Who said they had a great time? That's a huge fucking leap (that you made). In most other cultures, slaves could work their way into indentured servitude and eventually freedom. Slavery in the U.S., beginning in the 18th century relegated generation after generation of slave to being reduced to property with no chance of ever winning their freedom.


If you think slavery among African tribes was similar to slavery in the U.S., then you're pretty fucking stupid.

Europeans love to highlight America's brutal past with slavery but then conveniently forgets to mention their insatiable appetite for cotton, sugar and tobacco was the primary factor in driving it. Everyone loves to forget that it was called the slave "triangle." You know, meaning that at least two other parties were responsible.

I'm in no way condoning it, but I love that everyone Europeans and other Africans think they can just wash their hands clean of it and blame mean ole' nasty America.

And for whatever reason everyone loves to give Brazil a free pass and seems forget that they didn't abolish the practice until 1888. The last nation in the Western world to do so. And that's just officially. Brazilian officials kept discovering slaves in the interior of the country until the 1920's. Fuck, back in 2007 they even admitted to the U.N. that there are still probably somewhere between 25,000-40,000 held in slavery somewhere in the countries interior. 
OH YOU!

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#99
/\ Sorta like today how we abuse Chinese labor for cheap iPhones. And even though I know people are suffering a world away so I can have cheap things - I don't care. I don't care one bit that workers jump out of windows - so long as it doesn't delay my order.






TR:


I always felt that if I could live as a young man for a whole century - the 1900's start to finish is what I would want to see. Each decade was just so GD awesome and interesting for me. I'd live that century over and over again if I could. I may be biased because its the one I understand and can connect with the most, but the culture/sub-culture, the technology, the world affairs, all of it. It has me hooked.


Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, and poop like no one is in the next stall.


Handicapable: Jesus, if you're an O you get awards like they're motrin at a Corpsman parade.
-----------------------------


 [Image: WE5D25k.gif]
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(01-19-2016, 06:00 PM)cookiecj Wrote: Why not ask the rest of Africa and the Middle East, who had already been doing it since the dawn of time?

Because I'd like to learn about the Middle Passage. Furthermore, the total uprooting of people from their cultures and bringing them into one that was so drastically alien to them was fairly unprecedented.

It would give a great deal of insight into a section of history that we know very little about. Like I said, historical accounts from first generation slaves (that is, those who went through the Middle Passage) are rare.

A slave in Africa would at the very least know what African ethnic group his ancestors came from. You can't say the same for slaves in the Americas, or the vast majority of their modern descendants. Malcolm X adopted "X" as his last name as a political statement because he didn't know the family name of his forebears, aside from the European names they ultimately adopted when freed.
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