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Ask a Woman Anything
#26
(03-02-2015, 08:28 AM)SSgt Corvus Wrote: Why the fuck is it so hard to accept a damn compliment? I'll be like "hey babe you look great" and they'll be like "omg no I don't" and act like I'm being silly.
 
We don't always see what you see. It's easier to give a compliment from an objective viewpoint than it is to accept one.
Handicap: I blame Maggie entirely for my sudden bout of third person insanity.
maggie_h: Why's it my fault? 
F18WrenchMonkey: You're hot and Handi has a a weakness for hot women
Handicap: Yep. I'd let Magz see my boobs.

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#27
I have shampoo and conditioner strictly for the beard, Taz.

Hell, it's been long enough now that I've broken her spirit. She misses the beard.

Either that or my second chin is really putting a cramp in things.

Maggie Wrote:We don't always see what you see. It's easier to give a compliment from an objective viewpoint than it is to accept one.

It's kind of the same way I refuse to even acknowledge compliments unless they're about my eyes. I know I'm fat. I live in a city full of 18-25 year olds in peak physical condition. My eyes are about the only thing losing 30 pounds isn't going to improve.
Just a dumb grunt.
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#28
Why does my old lady nit-pick everything I do?

Seriously, almost everything I do.

When we were dating I used to do things and she wouldn't say anything. Now, she's full of advice. Is that how you're going to tie your shoes? You should try doing that this way. You shouldn't put that collar on the dog, you should use this one instead.

I love my wife more than anything, but this is starting to piss me off.
OH YOU!

[Image: qVbUArb.gif?noredirect]


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#29
(03-03-2015, 11:31 AM)ah8176 Wrote: Why does my old lady nit-pick everything I do?

Seriously, almost everything I do.

When we were dating I used to do things and she wouldn't say anything. Now, she's full of advice. Is that how you're going to tie your shoes? You should try doing that this way. You shouldn't put that collar on the dog, you should use this one instead.

I love my wife more than anything, but this is starting to piss me off.
You too? I thought I was the only one.
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#30
My wife hasn't said anything nice to me in four months and gets mad at me when I'm not enthusiastic when I'm around her.
Saru mo ki kara  ochiru
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#31
Why do women use sex for love?
The Kool-Aid is a lie.
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#32
(03-03-2015, 03:09 PM)npr Wrote: Why do women use sex for love?

Because we've been taught that we're not allowed to have sex unless we're in love with you. If we want sex just to have physical fun, then we're slutty. Just having desire is enough to warrant shame.
It's been drilled into our heads---sex/love. Sex/love. 

(03-03-2015, 11:31 AM)ah8176 Wrote: Why does my old lady nit-pick everything I do?

Seriously, almost everything I do.

When we were dating I used to do things and she wouldn't say anything. Now, she's full of advice. Is that how you're going to tie your shoes? You should try doing that this way. You shouldn't put that collar on the dog, you should use this one instead.

I love my wife more than anything, but this is starting to piss me off.

The only thing I can think of is that her mom must have always been correcting her,  her whole life.
It's  rubbed off on you. 
We always say we don't want to be like our parents, but some of us end up just like them. 
revengeofintelweeny:this girl is full of epicness +1. why can't there be more like minded people like her out there, geez ChaplainKM:I approve of the tazzie PV. Sh-tStirrer:Taz, I love you. zx6rdr:taz, erryone lik your pie
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#33
(03-03-2015, 04:36 PM)Taz Wrote:
(03-03-2015, 03:09 PM)npr Wrote: Why do women use sex for love?

Because we've been taught that we're not allowed to have sex unless we're in love with you. If we want sex just to have physical fun, then we're slutty. Just having desire is enough to warrant shame.
It's been drilled into our heads---sex/love. Sex/love.

Everything Taz said is true. What's the difference between a "slut" and a "player/stud"?

Another aspect of it is that for women, being casual about sexual choice can be dangerous. If we choose the wrong man, he can destroy our reputation with the "slut" tag - mine has been destroyed before, and I'd done nothing more salacious than a kiss on the cheek for my best male friend. He can hurt us; men can be victims of sexual violence, but it's much more common for women. In some cases, choosing poorly or without very careful forethought gets us killed.

Do a Google search. How many results appear when you search for "woman killed by ex"? One a week? Two a week? Three?

What about the ones brutalised by the partners they still have? How many?

Violence by people we have been intimate with is the deadliest thing on earth for women under fifty, and it's happening to someone about once every nine seconds. It does more harm than cancer, more than road accidents, more than anything else put together. In one year alone, in just the United States, there are nearly twice as many women killed at the hands of a current or previous sexual partner as there were deaths from the entire length of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. In one year, more than ten times as many are injured (usually multiple times...if they gave out Purple Hearts for this, you would never have enough) as a result of violence from their partners than have been wounded over the length of the wars

If we choose badly, we bleed for that choice. Can you blame us for wanting someone to actually care about us as people, wanting to be put in a category that means you value us and won't contemplate hurting us, before taking the risk?

It is backwards. It is undeniably stupid. But it is also a form of protection.
A penis lives a terrible life. His hair is a mess, his family are nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, someone keeps beating him...

Poor thing.
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#34
^^^ What they both said
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#35
How many pairs of shoes do you own?

How do you help out younger women so they don't make the same mistakes you did?

What type of fucked up things have you forgiven your man for?
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#36
(03-04-2015, 11:38 AM)CPD Wrote: How many pairs of shoes do you own?  20-30 pair -- mostly heels.    I have a couple pairs of Vibrams, riding boots and 2-3 flipflops/flats.  The rest are heels.   I just got 3 pair of 5" inch heels and have been practicing walking in them.  lol  Holy shit -- I'm going to fall when drunk.   

How do you help out younger women so they don't make the same mistakes you did? They don't listen much anyway so I don't bother anymore.  

What type of fucked up things have you forgiven your man for?   Forgiveness is more for yourself so you can let go and move on.    But anything short of lying to me or cheating on me unless we have an arrangement in place.   The rest is just small stuff.  
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#37
To Taz and TD and whoever else wants to answer.

How has your views on relationships and your approach to them changed throughout the years?
Handicap: I blame Maggie entirely for my sudden bout of third person insanity.
maggie_h: Why's it my fault? 
F18WrenchMonkey: You're hot and Handi has a a weakness for hot women
Handicap: Yep. I'd let Magz see my boobs.

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#38
[Image: kill_it_with_fire.gif]
Just a dumb grunt.
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#39
(03-05-2015, 01:58 AM)maggie_h Wrote: To Taz and TD and whoever else wants to answer.

How has your views on relationships and your approach to them changed throughout the years?

I'm more relaxed and have no expectations.  I'm more confident and comfortable with who I am that I can just say fuck it, this isn't working for me or I'm not feeling the connection, etc.   I know what I don't want, but more importantly, I know what I do want.    I don't take things so personally like I used to in that if he isn't into me, I'm fine with that now.  I get it now.   I can't be everything to everyone and I won't change for anyone either.  Been there, done that and it didn't end so well.   It's taken me awhile to figure this out -- just within the last 3 years actually.      

I've also learned to not be so damn afraid to take a chance and worry about getting hurt.  In the past, I've always broken up with or friend-zoned guys as a preemptive strike against future rejection and just outright fear when I start getting too close or heaven forbid, let anyone get close to me.   Let me tell you, what's worse than getting hurt is living with the regret.        
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#40
(03-05-2015, 01:58 AM)maggie_h Wrote: To Taz and TD and whoever else wants to answer.

How has your views on relationships and your approach to them changed throughout the years?

When you get older, you tend to care less about what other people think about you. When you do that, you can enjoy life more.

I don't get upset about insignificant things anymore. I'm much more level-headed now. That comes with age. So do wrinkles and getting fatter, but at least I'm not crazy.

I approach relationships more reserved. Not clingy. I never ask a guy, "where were you?" , cuz I don't give a shit anymore. I've got my own stuff going on. I wouldn't completely ignore a guy, but I'm not going to get upset if I don't hear from him for a week or two.

(03-04-2015, 11:38 AM)CPD Wrote: How many pairs of shoes do you own?

How do you help out younger women so they don't make the same mistakes you did?

What type of fucked up things have you forgiven your man for?

I have a pair of gardening boots, and a pair of regular boots that I wear with jeans. I have a pair of thigh-high boots, but I don't walk in them. Wink
Maybe 2 pairs of heels.
Two pairs of workout/running shoes.
Some flip flops.
I don't really have all that much. I'm persnickety when it comes to buying shoes. When I'm shopping for some, I rarely purchase. I just think of how much I'd be saving if I didn't buy them.

I'll help out younger women if they ask, but younger people rarely take advice.

I forgave a guy for fucking someone, but later it ended, so maybe I didn't forgive? Idk. I don't give a shit anyway.
revengeofintelweeny:this girl is full of epicness +1. why can't there be more like minded people like her out there, geez ChaplainKM:I approve of the tazzie PV. Sh-tStirrer:Taz, I love you. zx6rdr:taz, erryone lik your pie
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#41
(03-05-2015, 07:23 AM)Taz Wrote:  but I'm not going to get upset if I don't hear from him for a week or two.

[Image: tumblr_m2u8zyYjHD1qd79nao1_500.jpg]
Just a dumb grunt.
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#42
(03-05-2015, 07:32 AM)Handicap Wrote:
(03-05-2015, 07:23 AM)Taz Wrote:  but I'm not going to get upset if I don't hear from him for a week or two.

[Image: tumblr_m2u8zyYjHD1qd79nao1_500.jpg]

Why would he complain, then, that he hadn't heard from me in a week and a half?
revengeofintelweeny:this girl is full of epicness +1. why can't there be more like minded people like her out there, geez ChaplainKM:I approve of the tazzie PV. Sh-tStirrer:Taz, I love you. zx6rdr:taz, erryone lik your pie
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#43
(03-05-2015, 07:23 AM)Taz Wrote:
(03-05-2015, 01:58 AM)maggie_h Wrote: To Taz and TD and whoever else wants to answer.

How has your views on relationships and your approach to them changed throughout the years?

When you get older, you tend to care less about what other people think about you. When you do that, you can enjoy life more.

I don't get upset about insignificant things anymore. I'm much more level-headed now. That comes with age. So do wrinkles and getting fatter, but at least I'm not crazy.

I approach relationships more reserved. Not clingy. I never ask a guy, "where were you?" , cuz I don't give a shit anymore. I've got my own stuff going on. I wouldn't completely ignore a guy, but I'm not going to get upset if I don't hear from him for a week or two.


ALL OF THIS TOO!
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#44
It wasn't about him complaining over no contact. Certainly, after a week and a half, I would have expected to hear something. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it though.

What I was trying to convey with that picture is that, as a man, I do not believe you one bit.
Just a dumb grunt.
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#45
(03-05-2015, 07:37 AM)Handicap Wrote: It wasn't about him complaining over no contact. Certainly, after a week and a half, I would have expected to hear something. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it though.

What I was trying to convey with that picture is that, as a man, I do not believe you one bit.

Probably because you're used to dealing with younger/immature women/girls whose existence is based on your attention to them.  If you don't text/call me after a week, I get the hint and move on.  And conversely, if I don't call/text you, maybe you should do the same.   But if I do text ~3 times and no response, I'll get the hint.   No biggie
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#46
(03-05-2015, 07:42 AM)TD Sprinkles Wrote:
(03-05-2015, 07:37 AM)Handicap Wrote: It wasn't about him complaining over no contact. Certainly, after a week and a half, I would have expected to hear something. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it though.

What I was trying to convey with that picture is that, as a man, I do not believe you one bit.

Probably because you're used to dealing with younger/immature women/girls whose existence is based on your attention to them.  If you don't text/call me after a week, I get the hint and move on.  And conversely, if I don't call/text you, maybe you should do the same.       

I don't draw the skepticism from my own experiences entirely. I also draw it from experiences of friends both younger and older than I am. The wife doesn't keep tabs on me during all hours like she used to. If I go out, I give an estimate of how long I'll be gone and if she pings me while I'm gone I'll give her a quick update and be back about my business. She knows where I am 99% of the time and that other 1% is only when I have the girls and get a wild hair up my ass to take them somewhere where I think they'll have fun.

Never take a 3 year old to the beach and expect her not to get into the water.
Just a dumb grunt.
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#47
As a follow up to that question, over the years has anything changed regarding the things you find important in a man and in a relationship?
Handicap: I blame Maggie entirely for my sudden bout of third person insanity.
maggie_h: Why's it my fault? 
F18WrenchMonkey: You're hot and Handi has a a weakness for hot women
Handicap: Yep. I'd let Magz see my boobs.

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#48
jesus -- why are you fucking arguing/disagreeing with me so much.    

And that sounds like a goddamn leash/ball & chain


(03-05-2015, 07:48 AM)maggie_h Wrote: As a follow up to that question, over the years has anything changed regarding the things you find important in a man and in a relationship?

Of course.  It used to be all about looks, finances, fitting into a certain age-appropriate range, etc. but that just doesn't matter anymore.  Of course you have to be attracted to them and a good credit rating is still important.

I'm looking for a partnership, compatibility, humor, safety.   I need to feel secure --not financially, but emotionally.    Trust is a big thing with me.  I value trust first -- trust with my love, my secrets, my heart, etc.  I can't possibly love you if I don't trust or respect you.   And I need freedom - I cannot and will not bow to you or report to you or allow you to control me which all goes back to the trust thing. 
NSFgirl [28|Apr 06:29 AM]: Look, I have 3 holes, and 2 are free to be used. Don't be greedy and expect the 3rd too.
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#49
(03-05-2015, 07:37 AM)Handicap Wrote: It wasn't about him complaining over no contact. Certainly, after a week and a half, I would have expected to hear something. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it though.

What I was trying to convey with that picture is that, as a man, I do not believe you one bit.

If he doesn't contact me, I wonder why.
Getting upset over it, is not the same thing.
revengeofintelweeny:this girl is full of epicness +1. why can't there be more like minded people like her out there, geez ChaplainKM:I approve of the tazzie PV. Sh-tStirrer:Taz, I love you. zx6rdr:taz, erryone lik your pie
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#50
All the stuff Troy and Taz have related about women that are not young drama queens is why I love women like them. Games and (over)insecurity are for children. Honesty and trust rule. I don't give even half of a fuck what anyone thinks about me so I do what feels right for me (only possible exception is in the workplace, I'm more careful about it there). It's too bad that these things are learned over time from experience. If I only knew then what I know now...
Yeah,...So?
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